The day before yesterday dragged
a breakup out,
and the day after that
we ordered round upon round
won't talk out loud
with your friends here

I hate my thoughts
and hide behind my face,
some place no one looks
it isn't safe to
I fell in love today,
and I was glad to

Yesterday the bar locked up
to get away from the cops and punks
and drunks who think their thoughts
are worth so much
the same ones who will be there
when tomorrow becomes today,
and today becomes yesterday
and if you look for them,
well you you know where

and thats where i'll be
its dim and its damp
and its where i'm not ugly,
awake where I sit
asleep where you touch me,
but hey hey
i'm so glad i fell in love again
today.

and you mis pronounced my first name
when you announced that its my birthday
doesn't feel like,
20 should feel like
and the candles
melt on the cake
D isn't singing
he's much too afraid
someone will hear him
so he's staring

because i looked for an estuary
some place solitary
i could propose to,
if you're not opposed to
Ive been dreaming
of soaking wet
bottles of scotch and broken nets
but this town is dry
and these people are dry.

walking around
with your feet stomped down
you never stop just to listen
youd rather say
that yove got past the instict
the one that makes
you turn into mr fade away hey hey

try not to miss me

I don't know what I did
I don't know what I've done
If you've been where I've been
then it all would be forgot

First few weeks were chilly
I nearly froze my bones
Worst two blocks of philly
Enclaved me and my home
oh no,
I nearly broke my nose
lucky me I fell clean
and it didn't touch the bone
It'll only hurt a few weeks
by then I'll call your home
my own
and my bed won't know
won't know
the difference
as long as I'm alone

And I really hate the city
I figured out why it won't sleep
Its methods make me dizzy
and the cost is much too steep
it isn't worth the risk
I've been awake a week or two
or three
i'm tired and I miss you

Some things
can't be thought out
Some things
can't be figured out
Nothing is worth loving
when it comes with a price tag
when its more trouble than at first

Its 2 am and I'm in Jersey
I'm writing this from my bed
They told me not to worry
about anything I said
the past is not the present
and it doesn't represent
the promise of the future
from a mistake I can't forget

Make sure you read
the policy
for returns and comprehend
every definition
of every word mis-said.

There are some neighborhood kids yelling profanity to images, imaginary automobiles mucking through their sanctity, Holes in windows that will break so neat are an opening for me to glance with glee and ease and joy and poise and plead for free, streams and visions scissor extensions broken my once, haha i meant it happened my knee crutch, cane, cocaine, powerade gatorade, oxygen compitence, these are a few of my favorite things. Im tired of pretending that I always have something to say and when Im alright, Im still afraid.

if you judged everything i am off of everything ive done you could write me paragraphs about the person ive become because you have a lot to say about some places i have gone all the way to michigan and up toward oregon if you knew why my name to you is something different than the name i use you could guess that my fingernails have not been kept quite as well as you probably guessed because you thought the things i've done before will be coming back up then what you have will always only be what youve got and my apologies but I will not be that and if you want my hand so bad then tell me what you got mapped out on her hand a plan of something I don't want.

well i think about existence and this stupid little life-- if everything happens like it should, then this train will not slow down just because i'm asking it to. I hear melodies and music all day, and live with the notion intact that i will become a great musician. I will die a stastic or even worse a cliche, and i will marry the girl who is going to kill me. I can use retrospect, and be great at comparing occurrences to things that already occurred, but it will never occur to me to change for the future. Oh, and if you knew what you knew and what you knew was true, wouldn't you be tempted to do it again? The state of my state is looking grim, so I wonder what the west coast looks like. Maybe there's less republicans and more people trying not to identify themselves as a democrat, or a republican. They do what is right for themselves without fucking over anyone else in the process. And of course, I will have a girlfriend, who through everything will stay with me, but only because I'm supporting us. And when temptation becomes too great so will fate.