Red slits
on curtains
and curved lips
above your chin
resting on the window silk
Dead bolts
and eye holes;
heavy lids that don't quite fit
the frame of your hardened face,
its harsh, worn well with use
but used and trendy
like a doctors daughter
buying clothes at the thrift store,
because she wrote a check
that looked just like a script
and forgot her name, so she just forged his

Beautiful, you're far from
Ugly, but I'm gonna love you
Lovely, and pretend
you're better than you are

Cut up coats
and broke up,
never together when it mattered
I broke my car and drove faster
her fathers house up on the hill
adrenaline and amphetamine pills
mad dog, barking up the wrong tree
flicked cigarettes and embers
falling all around, from the bedroom story
like a bedtime story,
I didn't like it much,
but I stuck around
I didn't like it much
But I stuck around

Beautiful, you're far from
Ugly, but I'm gonna love you
Lovely, and pretend
you're better than you are

at 17 i got really drunk
the kind of drunk
that makes you love
every second before you throw up
18 fell asleep at the wheel
and woke up in the grass on a field,
staring at the dirt on my finger nails
the girl who fell asleep in the passenger seat
the wake up sick, sorry she loved me

19 flew I sped and blew
thought of voices to mock
that hid in the back
shaking with shock
faking an i.d.
connecting the dots
bumming a ride to and from the place
they send you when you start to shake,
said, "I'll love you, when no one else does
fall asleep with me."

20 shut my mouth pretty tight
I should've listened to every piece of advice in health class,
21 lord, I'm alive
good or bad,
I still haven't weighed this out.