Sick days;
six days from now
sick days would be paid,
but too late, feverish
frail jaundice flu-like
fetishes fucked me, and fucked me good
head aches, perspire
conspire
admire the higher and lower
and all in between
that feel less like ice
and not quite on fire;

a forehead the glistens,
red left for dead ears
missing the lessons
open mouthed visions
proceed on repeat,
until even my cheeks
are as red as my sheets;

a system of theories stamped
in the hallway, night lights and sky rise
shackled shadows, homeless ghosts
that almost know
how to chase warmth
when they're fleeing the cold
or fill up the children
when they're feeding the old;
a system left keys to unlock
disease, these three pertinent values
that I dare not value;

Life-- more like a sentence or a lesson or penance;
a condolence of death, "grant it as it will,
he will oh she will, and when they do,
we will chill--"

Love, the lack luster
silver linings of smoke filled
rooms, kissing the floorboard
to avoid scorced scores of ceilings
that seem more like the devil's own linen
and hardly appealing;

Happiness; oh, all I want
and all I shot
for a lovely lifetime;
and what I got was not nearly
the glimpse or glimmer or shimmer
or stammering stunningly innocent
image one entails entitlement towards;
winnings for winners,
lost chances for sinners and sons of
streak-baring, no luck downed dumb
average, below the curve, names taken
from the failings of fathers;
this is my life, love, happiness?
amphetamines peak
and never dare we, he
I, New York imagine a sleep,
so deep and entwined in a peace
that we sleep;
that we dream of America
and American Dreams;

Covered by red rags,
blue faces scared to death
and white roses encroaching a spirit
that had never once seen,
flowers turned to worms
or red roses turn green.