"Coughing, but, but I'm sneezing.."
wheezing bloody deadly life cut
envious arrays of T.B
violent shaking booming bursts
try and stay silent
for gray film to develop
and hide in the envelope
addressed from the nursing home
nursing back to health,
burning back to hell
churning wax from melted
wax burnt embers and ambers
and timbering limbs
sent to match
a cigarette ration
of three, a piece, each week
equal rights action
so slow it shows

Sputtering fits
spit and the Xyphoid is broken;
man handled,
bear hugged or simply
left choking on
thoughts that occur everyday
on replay
as to re-wind brings a time
to your mind where you're dying;
wife son step child
they're all dying, and while
they're six six seven feet deep
to their knees with roaches
and flees, I'm alive
and I plead, let heaven have Susanne
and let Gladys take me;

Not to the shower,
nor to the bed
where the shocks
cost an hour of time
from my head
and the worried ways learned
just burn and burn
and my skull as it turns
shows the scars from the urn
where you held those deaths
so close to my neck
that it burned up my throat
and rattled my head,
so the foundation is breaking
and the hospital's shaking;
old graystone, white stone
is cobble stoned no man's home
homeless ghosts only roam
next door;
timeless toasts timely omen
I'm dressed for

Wedding bells
Shattered rays
crying spells
golden age; golden days
frozen from shockage and voltage
because I was the cursed,
the braggard the chosen
to be plucked from the ward
where they sent me to rest
before I unload thoughts
with no bullet proof vest
It's two thousand ten

Human beings exist?
show me a one of them
you're staring at shit;
screen clean showering beams
bloodied and beat
he's seen towering me,
coward and terrorized
horrified, petrified
standing in place like my feet are no good
and I've taken shock therapy
and my heart is just wood
but you broke off the xyphoid
process and I'm void
protection the best care
my best friends my ex ends
and wedding days betting waves
hit us before the hangover does
because we're so drunk in ecstasy
punch drunk in love--

Remember the tower
that fell along side
the bell in the tower
was much too high,
far too loud
headaches and head colds
and six phrases repeat;
repent I admit
that the life that I led
28 years of it
I'd never done anything
worse than the rest of them
45 later
abused as an old man
would you stop,
and speak everyday
when the only acknowledgement
is in the worried hurried pace
that I say when I shrivel
my face, and replay
the poison they fed me,
the showers they led me
straight from to my bed
where electricity pumped
through my veins to my head;
and the hospital is falling
if you want a fair trade
I'll show you your freedom
just look at my face
its the face of your free nation
error of ways; immigrant nurses
to fuck with my terror phased
days that don't end
and when you're ready
to deal with it
everyone will pretend
its not real.