well i think about existence and this stupid little life-- if everything happens like it should, then this train will not slow down just because i'm asking it to. I hear melodies and music all day, and live with the notion intact that i will become a great musician. I will die a stastic or even worse a cliche, and i will marry the girl who is going to kill me. I can use retrospect, and be great at comparing occurrences to things that already occurred, but it will never occur to me to change for the future. Oh, and if you knew what you knew and what you knew was true, wouldn't you be tempted to do it again? The state of my state is looking grim, so I wonder what the west coast looks like. Maybe there's less republicans and more people trying not to identify themselves as a democrat, or a republican. They do what is right for themselves without fucking over anyone else in the process. And of course, I will have a girlfriend, who through everything will stay with me, but only because I'm supporting us. And when temptation becomes too great so will fate.