batteries broke barriers
exploded on my mouth
over my face
now I glow,
and shout and hate
alkaline
and all things fine
make me glow
make it show
the worst part
about the dark
is I can't see you,
but watch me
I light up a room,
yeah see i grew
backwards
and sideways
and upside down.
shine and glow and glow and glow
shimmer show and show and no
glisten oh my no no no.

I started welbutrin, I get so depressed to the point where I feel like I've already commited suicide. Threats to myself, from myself, like a concerned parent or something. I look at everyone and try to find my nitch, as kevin said. My best remember whens are from rehab, and it makes everyone sad when I talk. I need to sleep this off, or shake it off, or shower it off.

a no nonsense good for less
heading out so deeply west
past philadelphia
no nonsense,
no nonsense
coherent if I do what they tell me
do what they tell me,
do you know what they tell me
I'm alone

I'll never be nothing
If i don't ask for something
I'll never be no one
if I can't be the one
who waits

waiting
a table for hours
no gratuity
just an attitude.

after hours always meant many things. I never liked sleeping, I was terrified I was going to be possessed when I was younger. Everyone in my life died in the night, why wouldn't the sultan of shadows take my heart but not crush the spark. I'd recite prayers nervously for sometimes an hour, nine and anxious-- praying my heart wouldn't implode from fear.

A boy is masturbating for the first time as you read this. An unlucky couple is having sex in a parked car. Someone is paying for sex from someone who is praying that they cum already. Face down in a lap, someone's daughter is kissing the ugliest part of someone with the same lips they've kissed their father with, or said "i love you daddy," with the same mouth. A child is dreaming of suicide, and a baby is born to become that child.

but I sit with my fly zipped, job interviews dancing in my head like amphetamines and a universe that is too large to ever wrap my mind around completely, or even a full percent. You can never fully understand the universe, other than in a word. I'm still terrified of sleeping, and overnights give the hint that the world is alive, even when you're not.

She took it away so I would stay faithful
I give and I give she only takes
busing tables doesn't pay well
I really wish they'd let me wait

down gyroscope
out liner notes
round wide and full
peek through the telescope

I come back I hate being ignored
I'd rather be someone to use
south street made me dizzy,
allure of youth and style hit me
grabbed a hold so tight I choked
forced me drinks and broke her hold
she walks away I see her passing
waving her hands like wands casting magic
fasten your straps lets go for a walk
the town is filled with streets and I can only seem to walk one

She took it away so I would stay faithful
I give and I give she only takes
all day long I'd hold her tight,
cause it don't pay to work overnights.

I make my money now the wrong way
I do what I can to get by
faking my death so they won't think of me,
a few years passed and they don't ask why.

Thundering loud
wide awake and shut your mouth
late breaks to be called out
a cloud of dust rolls
like lint
linger and dissolve again
breathe it in
exhale a different energy
abort, like a leprosy
make it sound good to me
I love to sit and watch you leave

New Jersey
dead locked in traffic
New Jersey
why hurry,
we're already late
for a garden state
shrubs and roses second place
New Jersey

Passed out again,
on a subway train
ugly, and so I cover my face
and cover my tracks
all the way to church lane
and pray to save my faith
restilled, yeah the refinery
no soles
my shoes are mine to keep
got them zip tied up
stumbling to get in a fight,
cocking my head to see

New Jersey
saw the smoke rise once
barely, too pure for my blood
why hurry,
it'll only take another week
to leave New Jersey
She shows soldiers
they're a returning from war
her shoulders
and baby so much more
than what's being pulled over,
and still there's something underneathe
New Jersey
Felt incomplete
down in NYC
avenue b,
stole a line from c
and Malcom's street
an avenue a ways a way
from 3rd and A
hopped on the bus,
a cigarette for lunch
over the bridge
until I flipped the switch
overdrive to off,
hoping just to sleep it off,
woke as a child again
drawing all the things we saw
outside new jersey.

visions veer side to side,
out of sight strictly stuck in mind
bending over backwards
trying not to scream
scrambled eggs and burnt toast
say how much you mean
certain styles like animals
noises like you've heard a ghost
pretending prettier visions
that don't remind me of prisons
climb through
shine to
shrines of me
inside of you-- got my pennies worth
better get my dollars worth
parking lots after dark,
"please do it already,"
am I good,
great-- all's well and all are ready
sturdy dead skin on your gurthy steady fingers
explode and climax-- resolved with no resolution
with a thousand pixels at my choice
its no wonder why there's so much confusion
saw you look like a sidewalk professional
or a priest staining the confessional
I just came but I'm ready to
leaving sick only trying to go home
the leaves are wet I'm trying to go home
the trees are bent still trying to go home
i'm never gonna find my way home.