klonopin keeps my knees from locking
and when my feet start shaking,
don't come knocking

benzos let me let go
frozen shoulders
aren't worth grabbing onto

deep sleep
lets me screen dreams
to replay on repeat,
so even a moment
or something worth holding
is transparent, translucent
transporting from me--
child hood memories
trampolines and skinned knees
never shook,
only rarely
was dependent in my vocabulary

and the next image of me
as a teen, awkwardly
standing in line
to take life
until I died
never a chance,
no shot,
never--

leads to today, the present
minipulative
clever fucking addicts
hide their stashes
in the attic
wrapped in plastic
and our gashes
feel like magic
when we die
we just imagine
we're deeply
aligned
with the beat
of our sleep.