July 21st 2009

I tried to sleep around 1 am, I woke around 2 am drenched in sweat-- my leg was tingling and my foot felt like it was wrapped in barbed wire. My knee gets this feeling like there's a golf ball inside of it and I can't move it. I lay in bed and a flurry of dreams flutter over my forehead and it feels much like a fever and much like I'm dreaming-- I dream myself into days from now, and the children of the Kongo play their drums on my chest, and occasionally someone drops a stick and it ricochets and a loud cymbal crashes in between my ears. I jolt out of this sleep, and the clock either hasn't moved, or I've been back to sleep for around two minutes. My forehead tingles and my chest is imploded-- creating the sensation that I am suffocating. I walk down the stairs-- everything is in strange double vision, particularly this morning and I smoke a cigarette outside. Some electron inside of my head whispers, "Stroke" as I think about my numb leg and my numb forehead, and instantly my heart races to the point where I become light headed. I finish my cigarette and hold a glass in my hand and scale the steps to just outside my parents room. Why a glass? If I fall, my thoughts are that a glass would make noise. This is the refreshing night of sleep that I am privilidged to indulge myself in every night. I'm not trying to "one up" anyone-- I don't care about my shitty life more than I can about yours. This was just to add to the sleeping well.