ORNELLA PLEASE TRANSLATE =)

You can flick your hair

and hide your tattoos

ashamed of your past,

and smile for dollars

conversations for cents,

Take me aside

I'm crazy inside

and we all sell ourselves,

I just wish I could buy the next day

or two,

and

catch a flick

temporary tattoos

right our pasts,

and sing for quarters,

dance around in circles in tongues

take me inside,

I'm crazy inside,

and you'll never feel ashamed again--

I'm only hurting you now,

I'm only singing for quarters

but I'm sure that I love you.

Challenges are fun.

I'm not in love with tragedy, I'm in love with happiness. I want to be happy, I am happy. If you'd like to be happy, we can be happy. If you're afraid of being happy, then you can live the same routine.

New Challenge: Impress me. Out run me, Out smart me. Tell me something about something other than someone you idolize. Tell me something about art that I don't know, or something about music that I don't know. If I don't know about it, does it interest me? Speak a language to me-- fix my computer, talk to me about philosophy. Does this upset you if none of this applies to you?

We're wasting our lives, and I'm not wasting mine anymore. Tonight was the night of nights, and no one was there for me. So thanks a lot kids, my fucking crew. My fucking glory days crew. Its time to grow up.

Kentucky Loves Our New Oregon Pictures In Neons (3 Mega Prints)

I took one and spun
like a top
that turns right around
and stings when it stops,
in front of you,
and I then I took two
to reach out for you
but fell short to a pocket
with a number in script
and felt dizzy and short of it--
sort of sick--
and I was looking just for a friend
not the one's who just play pretend
not the tea time brigade never on call
not the see through who make me feel small

and I was looking just to connect
with a mind as pretty as a face
and a tongue that doesn't just race
whose thoughts don't take up space
and i found myself in a daze,
a parked car in shock and in pain

when i think of writing about this,
and your eyes just trying to shift
between melancholy and confidence
I was looking just for a friend
a late night call to pretend
i'm not as alone as I am.

and I'm wishing up at the stars
blurry eyed trying hard not to squint
look to the ones who've taken advice
from the ones who didn't know shit
and I would've taken it,
it I hadn't taken them,
maybe I'd stay awake,
and find a friend,
not to pretend
that I'm as lonely as I am.

I can't complete
a full nights sleep;
a cycle or three
eat healthy
and hearty
and healthy,
yeah smart
with my wisdom teeth
and I'll tell you who I am
I
watch you sleep
a full nights worth
of tosses and turns,
and kisses your shoulders,
to taste lotion pressed skin
sun tans and sun burns
and make breakfast in bed,
breakfast for lunch,
breakfast for dinner,
because its all I can cook,
but its always breakfast somewhere,
and we're culturalists,
you can clean the dashboard,
with the heels of your feet
if you promise to play
Tumble Connections
again and again on repeat,
and cruise control
tells me where to go,
and a map in the back seat,
crumbled fair; fair skinned
and neat, so we retire
at walmart parked car
e-breaks and fast food
and junk food
and milkshakes
and westcoast
and we.

The last time the headline
used my name sake,
they thought I was homeless
passed out drunk
hospital and god knows how they treated me
the next time they felt sorry
and thought I was dead,
Then I gave my keys
to a friend in need
who needed to get high
more than I wanted to drive,
and after flashing lights,
a DWI
the psychiatric chop shop
to pull apart my mind,
he finally got his fix,
and I got all the fines;
rehab and an overdose,
and I can't say that I'm fine
but now the name in the paper,
isn't mine,
My cousin holds a trophy,
because she's doing more than all right--
the teenage softball league
I'm so proud I could cry,
for my name, my families sake,
even shit like me can see something beautiful shine sometimes.

Anonymous

"When Everything Was Crooked"

Mother, I am afraid of my emotions,
of loving someone
who will someday die.
The future is inevitable.
If we stay cold we are safe.
How cautious have I been? I'm so sorry.
I miss cool tiled floors,
shadows swaying on my carpet,
bare feet burning on the driveway.
Life was solid.
I'm letting time slip through my fingers.
My memories have no temperature.
Skirts, colors, sounds.
Feet shuffling through St. Peter's, your lullaby, whistling,
yelling echo on the lake.
When I was seventeen
I woke up in a field.
I woke up to singing in Germany.
I forget the weather.
The past is distant, intangible.
This is unsettling.
Our will can be surprising, our wants maybe more.
I was my own hypnotist for years.
The fallacies I fed myself, repressive at best.
And each time you hugged me
I held my breath to hide my tears.
"I'll miss you so much."
Apathy is easier than pining.
"Yes."Mother, I could barely stand to touch you.
Your warmth was frightening.
Your embrace, dangerous.

False Messiah, I took advice once from you:
"Guard your heart, don't block it.
I learned to build trenches.
I learned to sabotage my own fortress.
Feeding on deception, seduction, adrenaline.
We taught each other insecurity.
Sweet words were only sounds that summer.
Love was warfare then.

Lover,
Yesterday I rode the C.
I saw the future on my hands.
I own my life. A nutmeg purse.
This oriental scarf. Our slanted staircase.
I never regretted living with you, but,where were we going so fast?
Our truths come out in dreams
I first said "I love you" half-asleep.
You answered me with questions,
asking, "Why?"And so I know how it feels to cry on Christmas.
My birthday.
To cry myself to sleep.
To wait for devotion.
To fantasize in blood.
Have you survived betrayal?
Have you loved and hated simultaneously?
You've melted me with so many questions.
We are tired, but we are trying.
We'll look back on this and say,"when everything was crooked."
Let me rewind.
I fell in love with Robin Hood at six.
I fell in love with outlaws at sixteen.
I missed the part on charity.
Sheltered danger, desperation.
Do you know what it's like to kiss a mouth who longs for someone else?
I have twice.
People circle back.
We unravel, we return.
Dark-eyed lover,
What let you to me?
The night I met you you looked familiar.
You filled my trenches before they were dug.
We must surrender our games in order to feel.
In autumn you helped me to cry again.
With your hand on my back, I melted.

So happy,
Lets get coffee
but its such a tarnished flavor
in a chipped cup
and I've drank enough
to cut myself off
So sappy
Lets just fuck,
But its such a boring task
i'll kindly decline,
yeah generously pass
but both cut a smoke
So maybe,
we can get married,
and get divorced,
all in one week,
and I'll have a new feeling
to delve over, and delve head knee xyphoid and deep.