drank up
shake up
way passed
hanged up
caught down like a spider web
the smaller the insect
the tighter the net
dangle dazzle I hate myself
and wish I'd just croak
streets corrode with dynamite
she's prepared to blow
fell down now I hate myself twice
burned my clothes
my wrists are soaked,
I just want to go home
tiger lillies on the beach
a childs reach left cresting waves
to gently leak
the roots the pedals
my boots, my necklace--
all things mesmorize
finalize the prophecy
I think its time to die
blue skies and fireflies
lightening bugs
take this standing up
backwards
forwards,
never alive
mesmorize.

I'm drowning like a butterfly
caught up in the rain
clipped wings and sputtering
trying to get away
fell down like a cannonball
rippling the ground
belt high seems a lot lower
when you're afraid to make a sound

Hung up
let down
isn't it funny
Fucked up
let down
isn't it funny
cool as char
on the barstool
isn't it obscene
I never want the day to turn
do you know what I mean.

all you girls and boys
will tell your children
how you dumpster dove
head first halo grinding liars
inches from your ugly parts
skirts high and blinders;
fucked on the first date,
swallowing pride and pre-dispositions the next
i love you's and drunk dials next leg,
lest left tapped heads from
stacked kegs-- whiskey
and wine great hell of a time
queer beer drinker clubs,
fraternities, orderlies, next of kin,
etc..

Women who boast
making 2K in a day,
the absence of respect
keeps arrows
long ways away;
cupid came in your sleep,
ever so neat
stained silk sheets
asleep before midnight
5 days of the week,
Saturday's sloppy
slutty shit show, sunken eyes
sex-- a diner
reminisce, shoot the breeze
dutchess von check;
half a bill to suck up
whatever's left of an ego;
a full bill takes much longer
for a full nose to froze
over; and under, above
beyond; before, after

Remember when--
the lonely friend
took a knife to his throat
and came out the wrong end;
the pills to overdose,
were a shade under
comatose, vegetables
blundered;
frustrated fatally
left alive,
left alone;
last breaths and futuraphobes;
dandelions grow
where you pissed on the lawn,
cold leaves fall,
blackbirds crow.

you lift your feet
bide time
hide while inside
scurrying feet from worrying zombies
faces caught up with words of wisdom
inching a foot, then yards again inches
give or take a few years of pills
heroin abuse
the ivy league brought me back to you
chomp stomping lunatic-- maniacs,
risperdal clocks telling what time "I ought,"
what time I ought not

could it be the lovely spark
igniting off the ugly part
or maybe its just the southern tip
of a northern town
where living feels much more like
just existing now

writing poetry
prose and she
is awkwardly fumbling thoughts
drawing words anything to post pone
consequence
good looks
and awkward glances
cook books and us both dancing

you want me to be in love with you

i can show you
new plus true
inhabits me and you

Stray far from cancer
drunk by myself
only loners need answers
rebellions a thought
thats neither sold nor bought
not a lesson to learn
or a script to be taught
stray far from cancer
capricorn trances

Dying the course of a life,
Trying of course to get it right
that's just the impact
of crashing,
never high only low

Break up break up
the hold is strong
by hold meant the grip
of the air burning midnight coal
trains planes and prairies
magically granted freedom like fairies
prayed once to god,
and i'll never pray again
said i love you once,
but i'll never say it again

Dying the course of a life,
Trying of course to get it right
that's just the impact
of crashing,
never high only low

Suffering the old man's disease
think you had me beat
almost convincing me
running underneathe
the over pass
jump on the street
skipped a curb
skipped a rock
no one heard
no one's shocked

told you i'd leave after a few
catching my breath
lining my throat with dew
nothing left
but the linger of you
so I hit to the open road
where even ghosts wouldn't travel
not even you'd go.

What whore of a ghost chose to revoke
a sentence left for death and blue;
purple panties, whatever else reminds you
of dying; New Jersey, her treasure
her state her pleasant razor wrecking balls
I call "home grown terror tactics,"
she calls breasts; flanking foot soldiers
fumbling codes and numbers
one for the lock the other for her phone
Her name is Sophie;
Sophia Southland?
Its all a northern idea anyway;
computers, convicts, conventions,
dictionaries medicine; men of war,
CHILDREN of GREEN PEACE,
slow paced half mile jogs to cars
and smoke and dust and shit;

Sophia Sutherland?
London's own, but L.A stole
for some movie about ships
pirates and sex? could've sworn
all the endings in California
are torn between killing the hero
and loving a whore
Staggering stations in Times Square,
leading to the Avenue
that tells me your name,
and the place by St. Marx
where we sold the love that we made
for a script of amphetamine pills
that you saved, splitting the lesser half
of a stash for benzos, beer, absinthe,
absent minded hip-pads, far past
"prog-rock," and cock rock, and
blue shots and white rocks
snort like a lady,
and downed hatching pop rocks
no rhythms,
no saviors,
just AA and hangovers that lasted much longer
than a week or a day or the time that they say
to recover from a sickness
with no name and no face
burrowing borrowing twilight's grace
roaring arousing erotic pace
masturbate while I smoke
the fire escape,
not too come down escape
for great lengths, or
I'm running puking overdosed
crazy, sad and sorry
but not stupid,
locking your door
drowning me in the tub,
god damn you New Jersey
her pet rock, grinding wheels
missing you--- bye--
kissing you well
wishes and hell;
deep in the heaps
of my own sleeping well.